we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
