why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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