why didn't you poke me back
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
