Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize