put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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