Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
