Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize