You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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