Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
