hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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