Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
