I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
