So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
