he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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