You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
