I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
