I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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