walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
