if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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