if you like me you must not know who I am
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize