At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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