I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
