the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
