I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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