I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
