I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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