I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My dick has a subreddit
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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