Just cropdusted the office
I love having hate sex.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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