You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
