They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
