I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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