i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
