just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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