so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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