I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
