yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I would ride that face into the sunset
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
