How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
