I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
