is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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