Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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