ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
