Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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