i think i scared a bird with my dick
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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