I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
