You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
