the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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