plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
