you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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