Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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