remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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