Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
