Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
