2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
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