I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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