Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
