Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
