Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
