There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
