Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
